Series Title: The matter of Anger and Offences
Over the next four weeks, we shall consider this subject of Offences and Anger and our deliverance from this tyrant. I trust with great prayers that God will pass through the ordinariness of the blog and reach out to you as He did for me as well.
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One of the easily besetting sins that beset me for a long time is the issue of OFFENCES and ANGER! I battled with this for some time in my life and I believe because of a few things it was particularly a problem for me.
One I was told I come from an angry family…usually they say when we get angry, we can be as violent as a Tiger! I in turn right from a tender age, began to exercise my family ‘rights’ as an angry person. Hmm, it almost cost me my left eye; thank God He preserved me then, before I had an opportunity to learn how to deal with it.
The second reason I believe is my small stature and strength. For those of you who know me well know I am very ‘down to earth’. I have always been the smallest and shortest in my class all the way from primary to university and guess what? Everyone took advantage of that! The big boys would like to bully me, they would like to talk and make comments and say nasty things…and guess what again? I couldn’t fight or beat them, nor even respond to them; not because I didn’t have what to say or I was very born again but because they would beat the hell out of me if I tried anything stupid!
So the result, I got angry several times and lived my life almost perpetually in anger all my life!
I would keep quiet physically, but deep in my heart I would be boiling and wishing I could actually fight you. Many times I got angry even at my parents and did some foolish things…like going to bed without eating, like deciding not to talk to anybody in the house until everyone knows I have been offended, like deliberately ignoring some instructions with a pretence that I never heard them!
Please ask me, who was loosing?
I woke in the middle of several of such nights sneaking into the kitchen looking for some food they either forgot to pack up or that my mum (stylishly and lovingly) left covered for me in the cooler. I found myself being the lonely one and missing out of all the fun in the house due to my moodiness and anger. Of course, I lost my peace several times. I soon found out that rather than getting the other person know he hurt me, I was the one loosing everything. The other person many times either did not even know he had hurt me or just got ahead with his life leaving me troubled for days…not able to sleep, not able to think or behave well, and as I became a Christian, not able to maintain my walk with God!
I’m sure some of you can identify with what I am talking about. Something has incapacitated your outward display of the anger but you have not really been delivered from it. Maybe because people know you as a Christian, maybe you are just ashamed of being caught fighting or like me, afraid of not being able to beat the other person if you should engage in a fight. But the hurt went deep into you, the offence was strong and it carried you along as it moved passed you. You have witnessed the damage it has caused you, you have seen and watched, seemingly helplessly how this great enemy scattered things for you, from the internal loss of Joy of the Lord and your peace, to the external probably breaking of plates and doors slamming and face slappings etc.
What a miserable person I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is doomed to die? (Rom 7:24 CEV)
I understand with you…and for now, we would simply pray!
Lord, you who know all my weakness and frailty, and desire that I live a life free from the enemy and his torment, come to my rescue and save me from this tyranny of the wicked one…in Jesus name, Amen.
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